We are not in Kansas anymore - The famous line spoken by a scared Dorothy in the Wizard of Oz. The reality of the parish is starkly different from the picture painted inside seminary walls. The reality of being a pastor is vastly different than being a member of a church. Like it or not, one is never ready for the demands of leading and serving a church. However knowing a few things at least helps to soften the initial blow (it is like jumping into a lake that is 60 degrees, which by the way was the temperature on one of my first baptisms - it takes your breath away).
1. Expect an intense struggle
We are on the front life of life and death; where sin and grace collide. We were called into the arena where sin is uncovered and grace is needed to be given. Of course it is going to be intense. Not everyone likes our ideas, even when we believe we have heard from God. Of course it is going to be intense. We have to stand up each Sunday and teach what God has said knowing we are imperfect and at times fail to do what we teach. Of course it is going to be intense.
2. Expect 10% of the people to dislike you no matter what
It might be your face, or that you remind someone of a brother they hated, some people will simply not like you. There will be nothing you can do to change their minds about you and everything you do will be wrong. Some great advice I received, let these people be. Serve them, love them, give them care as they allow, however don't allow them to drain you. There are another 10% of the people in your church that will love you no matter what you do. This group is great and fun to be around. You can't do much about either of these groups, because you didn't do anything to cause either reaction. The group of people to focus on is the 80% that are holding out judgment and waiting for you to prove yourself as an adequate shepherd.
3. Get comfortable with suffering
Much of the time, ministry is simply painful. We are with people in crisis, sometimes we get blamed for events we have no control over. Our spouse is jumped on because of something we have done... We are servant-leaders and that is not always easy.
4. Expect to be misunderstood
Communication is difficult among friends. We stand in front of people and many times have no idea what is going on in their lives. We may tell a harmless joke that offends because of a situation one of our members is going through. It was not our intention to hurt someone, but we did. I guess the best things to do are over communicate and be willing to apologize.
5. Expect to work very hard; and get no credit
People will never, ever know how hard most ministers work. They will not be there for the late night calls, the early morning emails, the requests during weekends. 'What do you do all week?' The next time someone says that to me I might dump water on them. The ministry is hard, because we work with people and no person is exactly alike so there are no formulas that work. The ministry is hard because culture is continually changing so no model will work all the time. The ministry is hard because you can't clock out when a friend and church member is going through a difficult time. I find that it takes me two days to emotionally get back on course after a funeral. The most difficult part of ministry is the emotional drain that takes its toll, and that is why finding recharging activities is so vital.
As far as the credit, you will spend two or three years of hard work diffusing church conflict and someone will say, 'Hey things have been going so peacefully around here, of course you didn't have anything to do with it.' Grin and bear it, then go for a walk.
6. Expect to be surprised
People respond to a message you thought was terrible. After months of conversations, someone finally opens up their life to following Jesus, a program takes off and you had nothing to do with it, prayers are answered. This work we are in is mysterious, as mysterious as the God we serve and worth every tear, sleepless night, emotional wrestling match and difficult conversation we have because people are connected to God and we get to be a part of the process.
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'I have a theory about starting out in ministry. We all begin with high ideals and expectations. It takes about three years for me to offend everyone (although some pastors can do it a lot quicker). By then I've failed to meet all the impossible and unspoken expectations of the congregation. And by then they've disappointed me and failed to live up to my unreal expectations. Then, and only then, can real pastoral ministry begin, for it is then that we have to decide if we will love one another and believe the gospel.' - David Fisher, The 21st Century Pastor
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