When was the last time you were listened to? I mean a time you were really heard. Someone looked you in the eye, did not have a phone in their hand, and treated what you said as the most important event happening at that time. If you have had this experience, you are luck and know exactly what I am talking about.
During a very dark time prior to the Civil War, President Abraham Lincoln turned to a Washington outsider and old friend from back in Springfield, Leonard Sweet for help. Lincoln asked Sweet to come to the White House and discuss the idea of issuing a proclamation of freeing the slaves. Lincoln spoke late into the night with Sweet, hour upon hour turning over this issue from every side, going over every detail, every critique, every article, every letter received. After a long evening, Lincoln simply shook his friends hands and without asking for an opinion bid him a good evening. Lincoln did not need a conversation, or opinion, Lincoln needed an open ear, he needed to be heart. There is healing power in someone who will enact the practice of Holy Listening.
The most practical book in the bible, James highlights Holy Listening as a priority for Christians, he writes ‘Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.’
Three simple steps to help others through Holy Listening. (Warning: this is so simplistic that you may want to throw something at me...try doing it for a week prior to throwing.)
1. Listen more than you talk - to listen deeply and intently to another human being is demonstrating that you value them. By listening to another you give God room to work in their life. Keeping your words in check also means that you are a wise person.
When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.
Proverbs 10.19
You have heard it said, ‘learn to zip your lip’ or ‘you have 2 ears and 1 mouth, listen 2x as much as you talk.’ James would dig these phrases and call them Holy.
2. Ask others questions - Years ago a young woman went to dinner with William Gladstone and the next evening by Benjamin Disraeli, his political opponent. She was later asked her impression of the two evenings and the two men. The young lady replied, ‘When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But after sitting next to Mr. Disraeli, I thought I was the cleverest woman in England.’
I know a delightful lady who is gifted at getting to know other people. She develops close and caring relationships very quickly, quicker than anyone else I have ever known. I asked her what is her secret and she said rather bluntly, ‘I ask people about themselves and listen.’
Theologian Paul Tillich once said, ‘The first duty of love is to listen.’
When we are interested in others, we open up space for God to move in their lives and we build strong relationships.
3. Consider it a great honor to be confidant - Good listeners value confidentiality and hold the information they receive in high esteem. I heard the story of a man who was a bit tipsy and stumbled out of a club, almost knocking down his pastor who was strolling past. ‘Sorry Preacher, wish you did not see me like this.’ The minister replied, ‘Well, I don’t know why you should be sorry for me to see you this way Sam. After all, the Lord sees you wherever you are, doesn't he?’ ‘Yeah, yeah he does preacher,’ Sam replied. ‘But he is not such a blabbermouth as you are.’
Gossip kills the power of Holy Listening. What a great honor to have someone confide in us and the transformational christian takes that information to God and God alone...the one who can do something about it.
Transformational Christians practice Holy Listening...and if we are careful, and quiet enough, we might just hear the whisper of God.
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