After a bit of thinking and praying I self-diagnosed my problem (I do have my Doctorate in Spiritual Formation so this is the one area I can be useful in).
I try to read through the bible each year (By the way there is a guy in my church that has done this for over 50 years and only not made it 3 times #myhero). I found myself more excited about getting through the ‘assignment for the day’ and accomplishing something than I was absorbing and learning from what I was reading. After each ‘bible reading session’ I would feel a sense of accomplishment for a moment, yet a growing unrest would stick with me through the day.
Soren Kierkegaard once wrote - Purity of heart is to will one thing.
Great quote but what do you do when your will has ADD? James calls this type of distraction being double-minded, and it is not a good thing, especially for growing spiritually strong.
Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. (James 4:8 ESV)
One thing I know is that when something is not right we can gloss over it or deal with it. I think it is most healthful to deal with issues head on. Isn’t it interesting that I was doing something good like reading the Bible, but it was producing something not so good in my life.
I am discovering something, God is not interested in my accomplishment, God is interested in my transformation (becoming a better human being).
In the context of this verse in James, purity and double-mindedness are pitted directly against each other. In order to experience a purified heart, I have to be single-minded in my pursuit of God. A double-minded approach does no good. Purity in God’s eyes is a 100% deal, not 85% attempt.
When purity is a pursuit, impurity becomes very evident.
In the United States we have federal guidelines for consumable products. Purity is 100% of something.
These are guidelines for purity I found perusing the FDA website (actually I think I read them initially in a John Ortberg book, I suggest you read all his stuff, and then went to verify on the FDA site).
Apple Butter - If the mold count is 12% or more, or if it averages 4 rodent hairs per 100 grams or more, or if it averages 5 or more whole insects (not counting mites, aphids, or scale insects) per 100 grams the FDA will not allow this to be sold. I guess the mites & aphids are good for us?
Mushrooms: They cannot/should not be sold if there is an average of 20 or more maggots of any size per 15 grams of dried mushrooms.
I think sometimes as human beings we do the same thing. We allow a certain level of double-mindedness and think it is ok, it is going to do us no harm. Unfortunately this can have a terrible effect on our spiritual health. James discusses this principle -
If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea that is driven and tossed by the wind. For that person must not suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways.
(James 1:5-8 ESV)
(James 1:5-8 ESV)
This idea of trusting God sometimes but also trusting the world or our own natural abilities creates a divided person.
God is not looking for perfection of performance, but authenticity of intent.
I guess the question is how can I become single-minded, or pure in my pursuit of God?
Let’s circle back around...I came to the conclusion that my anxiousness/divided mind, was caused by my lack of focused curiosity with God’s word. I had started trying to accomplish a task as I read the bible, instead of finding true, pure, life from getting to know God better. My goal became accomplishment instead of inquisitiveness. I lost my curiosity with God’s word.
Have you lost your curiosity with God’s word?
There is no tool more powerful to live a pure and undivided life than Scripture, hear what the writer of Hebrews has to say about the words in the Bible.
[12] For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. [13] And no creature is hidden from his sight...(Hebrews 4:12-13 ESV)
Here are a few practical ideas about Bible engagement that are helping me become single minded-
- Read the bible for broad understanding - using a reading plan is great, but have a new goal : to hear God through the Word. I use the One Year Bible and highly recommend it because it has a daily reading from the Old Testament, New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs. If one section is a bit dry, there is bound to be something that is relevant to my life in another section
- Look daily for specific instruction - when a verse from your daily reading jumps out at you (and it will) stop and make note of it. Record in a journal why it is important to you and what you think God is saying or teaching you through it. Share that insight with a friend, spouse or small group bible study.
- Take that verse or phrase and consider it through the day. It might simply be a phrase, ‘My Father in heaven...’ or ‘The Lord is my Shepherd...’ Use the phrase during the day to bring your mind back to God (thus developing a single-mindedness).
- Make memories - there is no substitute for memorizing the Bible. Take a familiar passage such as Psalm 23 or Joshua 1.9 and memorize it. I can’t tell you how many times a memorized verse (and I am terrible at memorization) has helped me stay focused on God.
I hope your journey with God is full of growth and progress toward a single-minded devotion.
